SEPTEMBER RULES ! YO MAN ♥

The One ;

Just the way I am !

September ☆

Also shout as SEP
Death day is 19th Septmeber (:
Me just an ordinary girl with
Randomness , hyper-ness and crazy-ness ^^
No longer a school girl (:
At first to you i might
be quiet ? But after know me long i won't
shut my mouth up ! ^^
♥ My groups of Supergirls
♥ My crazy boyfriend ERIC SOO
23062010 ♥

Beats of dots ;

♪ The Beats ♪

mixpod recommended.

Silent Screamerz ;

Doh ray mii

Out you go ;

Get lost -.-

Yearning Hearts

Give me that !

- ~~Pass N Levels!~~
- ~~Awaits for 10years of friendship(:~~
- Cut down smoking
- ~~Move in new house~~
- ~~Laptop~~
- ~~LG ice cream phone~~
- Move Out !
- ~~AINO sony ericsson~~
- ShinTzu Puppy / Golden retriver
- Everlasting friendship
- BoA's 'BEST USA & JAPAN' ablum
- BoA's 'THE FACE' album
- SHINee's 'Romeo' ablum
- SHINee's ' Ring Ding Dong ' album
- ~~No Morwe school !~~
- Get along well with mom?
- Kenneth kor out of boy's home

Distinctive One ❤

Love like this

Credits

Standing Ovations.

Designer: ♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Others: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Monday, April 19, 2010

Gracious Day: 你的爱呢，给谁了 ? - 心呢被弄痛了
Time: 1:06 AM

Today met up with boyfriend , felt a sudden different .
Though he kept joking , but uneasy thought just kept come out .
When i on way , the way we msg . Just very different from past , he was really cold .
Usually he will kept msg , but from that day we patched , he no longer like that .
I didn't know what happened , felt uneasy ): . Even i was just sending msg , he never reply .
I just really wish to know what is he thinking , why he became like that ?

Cause he no longer love me ? Cause he felt for other girls ?
Cause he was disappointed and tired that i always made him angry ?
Cause he didn't want to hurt me then patch with me ?
Many thought just came out into my head , i didn't want to think about it , but just
couldn't control it . I don't know what's wrong with me , just a little stupid thoughts will make
me break down on the spot . His coldness just make me felt , uneasy . Hurts !
I kept thinking is that what i want ? If he don't love me m he won't patch with me ?
But why did he so cold to me ? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY !!!!!???
I suddenly feel that i'm no longer that strong girl . Who always insist she's right ,
insist once break no patch , insist boyf never text me fuck care , insist boyf should find girlf ,
insist she shouldn't give in to her boyf , insist that boyf cannot scold her .
I was like , just suddenly change to another person whom i don't even know who am i ,
what i'm really want . I felt so disappointed about myself and maybe even stupid ?
Dumb ? Silly ? What's wrong with me man , the way he treat me colder , the way i felt
he no longer love me as before . I felt dumb and stupid , dumbfounded !
Fucking stupid girl ! If didn't put in so much , i won't be so hurt in the end . I thought this
time will be different , but still the same . No matter how hard i wanted to hold it back ,
how hard i try to maintain , he is still cold ! COLD TOWARDS TO ME ! I didn't understand why ?
Really don't understand , just had a strong feeling tell me that , he don't love me already .
He's change . This few days , i had think through a lot and a lot . Although yesterday i had
ask him all those questions i want to know , but i still feel uneasy and still having doubts ,
i feel like giving up , no more strength to keep holding on . But what if my thoughts were wrong ?
I would feel regret if i gave up . But i really feel tired , don't know what to do .
Can someone just tell me what to do ? Tell me what is he thinking ?
Should i ask for break ? Or continue my part to maintain this relationship ? Sighs !!!!
First time , for the very first time ! I don't know what i want for myself !
Ended myself so tragically ? Suffering from pain and hurts . Felt so lost and helpless .
sighs ! And i'm mentally prepare for the answer he give me , and i am going to ask him and
tell him how i feel now , cause its pointless if keep thinking and make wild guesses .
Be it a good or bad , i'll accept it . Don't want to run away anymore . I should face
it sooner or later so why not now ? Maybe i can still pull myself up before i fall more deeper ?

Yea , that's September ! Face it and don't run away . If the answer isn't positive i might broke
down , but i'll accept it and heal myself up ! If there is no him , i'll be fine too . Cause like
July said i do still have great girlfriends like them by side , good friends by my side to be
there for me . Even without him i'll be fine too ! Time do heal the wounds , i'll still need to
continue my life even without him . So yea man ! I decided to ask him and tell him .
Wait for my outcome ba readers (: .

And to my dearest girlfriend JULY :
Yesterday i was really really really SORRY ! SORRY that i pangseh-ed you , left you alone .
Although you're having your own troubles you still accompany and consoling me ,
and accompanied to find boyfriend . Really thanks alot girl , but still i'm really sorry
that i left you alone and didn't accompany you . Actually was planning we could go out
have fun and vent out all our unhappiness , but in the end cause of me whole plan was change
and destroyed the whole atmosphere too . I AM REALLY SORRY about it ! :/
And also thanks Ah Kai and Zhao Xiang sending us all the way to there , in the end i left all of
you there , really really sorry guys ! :/
Girl , i'm so sorry today also . Knowing you're sad and need some accompany yet i didn't
accompany went to find boyfriend , really sorry ! I felt that i had been wei ji mo gor .
SORRY GIRL ! And also thanks for your understanding too , really thanks that you didn't
angry or what . Girl ! Let's stand up together and move on okays ?
We are like ended up in same situation , i know how it feels . No matter what just a call
or text i'll be there to lend you my shoulder and listening ears (: .
So girl , we work hard together forget the unhappiness and move on .

Labels: You're always on my mind

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