Its the 13 days , Kenny and i get together .
During these 13 days , we never had one day peace . Cause we kept arguing here and there .
In fact , before together argument already started a bit . Though keep quarreling ,
we do still happy times , but wasn't that much ? I thought i was only like him ,
not love him . But when we quarreled . I realized he is more important
than i thought , cause i care and mind he is angry .
And might just don't want talk to me anymore .
so that day after quarreled , i cried . Because he mentioned break up , he said i was just like
his ex just want to hurt him only . But that wasn't true ! I was prepared to respect his decision and asked him is that what he wants , he told me that he know i am a girl who don't hold back .Yes ! He is right , i won't hold back a relationship .
But this time i hold back and asked him to stay . And he did stay , so never break up .
I told him all the things about how i feel towards to him , and probably he told me his too .
The next day , we didn't quarrel , i thought it would be a good start for us ,
cause first time didn't quarrel . But who knows , yesterday argument was really big .
He said i got attitude problems and why reply him late , i had already trying to change .
Why can't he understand and trying to know that i am actually change cause of him ?
Yea , every time he angry , i didn't angry him but will apologized to him .
Cause he angry means he care and mind , this time was different , we ended up break up .
I had changed to someone whom i don't know , i asked him for patched .
And at first he didn't want to , after that he agreed .
Yea , we patched . But the results was very much different
from the past , he was very cold to me . Usually he reply one letter means angry , now ?
when he use one letter didn't mean angry anymore , it represents the coldness towards
to me . All his msgs were one letter or two letters . I kept told myself I'm just thinking too much , nothing goes wrong , maybe just cause he was still angry or what ?
I just couldn't stop thinking , he really very cold towards to me ,
i don't know which is the real him .He can talk nicely with in the phone ,
but in msg . He was very cold towards , very first time . And i tasted how cold he was ,
maybe he just treated the way i treated him in the beginning ? Or maybe he is no longer
love me like in the past ? All these thoughts were just kept spinning in my head ,
made me think a lot of things . But just missing him very much suddenly , never been so
miss him before . Its weird you see ? For the first time , yesterday he went to
sleep very early . So stupid thoughts and wild guess came up to my mind .
I was thinking , its cause he don't want to talk to me that's why said that ? i don't know , all
this weird thinking just came up to my mind . And after heard L said , i really got many
many weird thoughts . Think of things i shouldn't think of . For past 2 or 3 days ,
i didn't sleep well . In fact was after the first quarreled till yesterday , yesterday i was
really totally no mood and missing him ): . Because of no mood Zongyang KOR and
his friend - Victor around 1 plus came and fetched me and drove me to East Coast there ,
i thought if i went out i did feel better , but I'm not . when i was walking at East Coast ,
many thought came out . Walked awhile then headed Mac and sat down chatted with them ,
Zongyang KOR and Victor thanks for the accompany yea (: .
Back to Eunos , i really don't feel like going home , so met up with Terry .
Talked with him , blahs blahs ! Then headed home , use com awhile and headed to sleep .
I thought when i wake up will feel better , in fact at the beginning was better ?
Cause i received boyfriend's call , he talked very nicely to me . I was happy ,
i thought everything was fine , until when we msg , i realized its still the same .
His coldness to me just like a knife stabbing into my heart that was the first time i felt it ,
a person's coldness could hurt me so much . I was thinking should i really ask him ,
does he still love me ? Why so cold towards to me ? But i afraid he might think that
I'm thinking too much or that , so i didn't ask .
I didn't know things will turned up into this way , is this what i want ?
Should i still bear with his coldness and maybe one day he won't like that ?
Or maybe i should just let it go , i wouldn't be thinking so much or what .
But i also think that , if he had no feeling for me , why still agreed to patch
with me at first place ? Cause of still got feeling ? Or just toying my feelings ?
Let me tasted how cold i was ? But i could tell him , is doesn't feel good at all .
I didn't know what he is thinking about , just many wild thought came up to my mind .
I was really confused but at the same time , i also realized i really love him and
he is important to him . For the first time i change so much cause of a boy .
Very stupid right ? I thought that so , but if my changing can make two of last long ,
i don't mind . But he doesn't know that i had make change for him , he never realized .
I was very tired , i cannot accept the fact he became like this . I just feel very sad , perhaps
when together i was not really a good girlfriend to him , a girlfriend with coldness , with
attitude problem ? Sighs ! I don't know what to say , but i only know .
I love him and he is important to me , i cannot afford to lose him .
But in fact i had lose him already or going to lose him ?
Maybe i should just accept the fact he is leaving and shouldn't keep him
by my side even though we patch . Cause of the coldness , or maybe his feeling to me ?
But darling , i really love you more than you thought . When you're angry i feel bad and sad ,
what you said will hurts and i mind it a lots . You're just more than important than i thought .
Maybe just like what they say , think carefully and let it go ? But i cannot bear to let you leave
my side . I'm relying on you more and more , just like yesterday night , you didn't talk to me
cause you went to sleep early , i felt very weird . And started to miss you more and more too
Could someone just tell me what is on his mind ?
I LOVE KENNY LIM HUI XIANG <3
Labels: 不应该怀疑 才不会伤心
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